I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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