oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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