Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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