time to smoke my breakfast
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
