Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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