I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
