We're facebook friends in real life
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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