This is not my ceiling
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
