...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
