Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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