Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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