Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
