your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
