eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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