Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
