do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
