Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
