Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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