I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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