I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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