If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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