just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
