My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
