ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize