but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
