You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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