I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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