FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Sober January is a disaster.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize