It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Randomize
