I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
