He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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