When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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