i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize