it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
