Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
She announced her abortion via fbk
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
