I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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