Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I have post one night stand depression
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
