i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
