:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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