Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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