I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize