Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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