she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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