College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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