What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Two words: blizzard sex
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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