i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I could fuck to npr.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize