Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
