i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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