Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize