Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
