i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
There r osticjed everywhere
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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