I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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