Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
