Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
