I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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