Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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