So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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