And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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