does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
