you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize
