Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
