talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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