i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just had sex on a roof
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
