we're blogging at a bar
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
