I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
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