We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
