i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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