Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
