I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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