I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
