they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
