glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
