my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
