How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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